Current location:	The Room.
Current mood:	apathetic
Current music:	Monk's Mood- Thelonious Monk

Candles and Aimee Mann.
So yesterday Sydney and I went for a walk and chilled by the east river.
And as usual, we freaked the fuck out about getting older and changing times and our futures. because all we ever do is freak the fuck out.

And she brought up a very good point, about how friendships change and they become lukewarm, but u feel bad that u don't feel the way you used to towards the person. And then I mentioned that whenever that happens you always feel like you're letting your former self down, because you had such hopes for your future. That you were going to be close to this person for forever and ever and nothing would ever change that. And although I don't believe that people can change, there is a definite difference between where we are today and where we were 5 years ago. And I mean regardless of how I feel about that, I can't do anything about it, so there's no use in freaking out.

So now, I'm kind of like...hmm how many friendships are like that? Where I'm just going by what happened 3 years ago, and really I don't give a shit about this person. But I'm just pretending because I don't want to disappoint my former self. 

"If you ain't got dreams, bubs, what the fuck you got?"

I've been fighting back the urge to throw up all day, and it's really bothering me. I don't know what I ate but its still bothering me.